5. THE BUTCH BARBIE
Yes, we know pink is best associated with Babesville. But what if your love for pink is only narrowly outweighed by your love for your hairy, gas-deploying, Jean-Claude-van-Dame-loving other half? How do we blend these two great loves together? Enter: The Butch Barbie. She doesn’t let the girlyness of pink intimidate her… oh no siree! She knows that all she needs to do is balance out that soft femininity with some rough and tough edges. General rule of thumb here is to inject as much dark walls/brown leather/steel beams/exposed brick/raw wood as possible. Another tip is to do more mauve-pink, less candy-floss pink. Giant TV’s and various guises of skull heads wouldn’t go amiss either in macho-ing up your cerise crush. In love with that pink-toned overdyed Turkish rug? No problem! Just put an oversized, leather-clad Lexington sofa on it. Fighting about your pink dining chairs? Elegantly remind him that if you can live with his flashing neon light of a naked chick in the bar, he can surely live with your pink chairs in the dining room? There is no reason why the two can’t go together like rama-lama-lama-kadinky-kadinky-donk.
Butch Barbie may have flawlessly coiffed hair and can walk in a pair of stilettos like it’s nobody’s business. BUT that’s not to say she can’t use one perfectly manicured hand to work the TV remote while crushing an empty beer can with the other! You see, people? BALANCE. That’s what we’re talkin’ about!